i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We are two peas in an std pod
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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