he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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