I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
