Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
