Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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