come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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