got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
There are leaves in my underwear?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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