There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
