Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
