I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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