I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
