We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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