I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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