Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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