Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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