If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
