so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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