normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
