she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
