I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
