He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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