It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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