if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
