I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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