I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize