my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
