she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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