its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize