The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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