I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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