where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
