ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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