I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
