i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
