I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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