I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
