Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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