I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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