In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
