dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
