I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
