I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
