Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Randomize
