Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
