I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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