she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize