My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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