You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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