i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
