Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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