Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
