And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
