Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
