he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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