U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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