he wants to bone in the snuggie
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
that may or may not have been my penis.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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