thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
