There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the day after is always just damage control
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize